Some kind of blog thing...

     Since moving to London in January 2010, life has been a roller-coaster. Time has moved so fast that I’m still trying to convince myself its been two and a half years. The first year and a half was one of the most intense periods of my life: having begged and borrowed my way into convincing some family members to sponsor me to attend Film School, bam! It was actually happening with just weeks to spare. ‘This isn’t going to be a picnic’ they told us on our first day. ‘If you want a career in film, you’ll carve one yourself. We’re not going to hold your hand’. They were right, and with just a months hiatus in Feb ‘10, I somehow managed to blag my way from the 1 month Certificate course onto the 1 year Industry Filmmaking Diploma, or ‘IFD’ as we christened it.

I was thousands and thousands of £’s in debt (and still am), but I didn’t care. I’d finally done it: I was actually at Film School, making films and learning first-hand tricks of the trade from those who actually worked in the film industry. It was a dream. and it was intense. I was lucky enough to find my niche, that shifting from aspiring to be a Director to being a Producer instead (I fast found out I’m bloody god-awful at telling others what to do) and lucky enough again to have been offered to Produce our courses Graduation film. The dream opportunities just kept on coming. Upon finishing our graduation film I was ‘straight onto another film’, and another, and then another until in late Summer of ‘11, I was offered a gig someone like me could have only dreamed of a year prior: producing a low-budget feature. I couldn’t believe it was even happening, but it was.

Like some opportunities that perhaps come too quickly for them to be appreciated, the roll of too-good-to-be-true opportunities came to an abrupt end last October, three days after my 23rd birthday. I still don’t think I’ve ever done something as intense in my life as working in film production, and hoped that the never-ending workaholic umpteen-hour days would stand me in good stead for the future. I think they have. When I look back and consider the important things: the experiences and opportunities, the people I met and things I got to do, people I got to learn from, places I got to go. I’ll always remember these times just as much as the hard ones (and there have been more than a few of those, not least my being fired from a £70K feature film and blacklisted among some of my best mates, most of whom will probably never speak to me again). All of it, both pride and shame, I don’t think I’d change. Its now May 2012 and despite having not worked in film-related ventures since, the ambition, hope, ‘dream’ of one day working in film production hasn’t waned. and it must be said, neither has my gratitude and appreciation to those who gave me the opportunities I was lucky enough to be given and for the experiences I’ve been through. All of it has, at least I like to think, made me more ready, prepared for the what lies ahead. 

Needing a much-needed break from film sets (I was absolutely exhausted), I managed to (once again wing) my way into a 9-5 office job to pay the bills. Even the thought of the word ‘office’ still makes me ill and it wasn’t long (well, immediately) until I started brainstorming other avenues I might devote my spare time to besides devoting my body like a rent boy to producing short films (yes, producing really is that demanding ;). Low and behold, Film Premieres and Red Carpet events sprang to mind. Really it was a love of film memorabilia, specifically signed photos and autographs which first caught my interest. Back in 2008, around about the time I began to fall in love with Hollywood’s ‘Golden Age’, I started reading books on cinema of the 40’s and watching classics such as ‘To Have and Have Not’ and ‘Key Largo’ (slight Lauren Bacall obsession, check). But it wasn’t enough. I craved to hold a piece of this history in my hands and with that desire came my first ever memorabilia purchase: an 8x10 signed portrait of Lauren Bacall via eBay. I was buzzing and, in an impulse-obsessive blitz, bought seven more that same week. For me its always been (and still is) about ‘preserving history’, culture, call it what you will. It really was the most incredible feeling to have a piece of Hollywood history on my bedroom wall. It wasn’t long after I moved to London that I realized the obvious: that London isn’t just one of the best places on earth to spot film folk, but potentially get autographs too. Slap! I had to get some, I didn’t care how or who it was. Of course, what with Film School and the half-year I spent working on films after, I just didn’t have the time (the exceptions being attending the Alice In Wonderland world premiere (my first ever film premiere), the 2010 BAFTA’s and the two final Harry Potter premieres). I didn’t start regularly ‘autograph hunting’ until December 2011 when I decided to rock up to the premiere for ‘Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows’. To this day I have no idea what made me randomly decide to go to that premiere that day, but I did. That night, having met Guy Ritchie (one of my all-time biggest filmmaker inspirations) and thanked him for inspiring me (and him replying ‘no problem’), it hit me how lucky I was. Who gets to do that? Thank the people who have inspired them in person, let alone meet them or even see them in the flesh? and all of that coming far before any autograph, which just so happened to be the icing on the cake. I was buzzing. and when I checked the list of upcoming 2012 releases (and presumptive premieres) later that night, was on a high. ‘No way’ I told myself. There was no way I might get to meet Steven Spielberg. But I did. My ‘dream roller-coaster life’ of working in films having come to a grinding halt, I was back living another dream, a totally different one: I was meeting the people who inspired me to become what I was trying to. Its sort of backwards, but hopefully you get my drift. 

During my time in London, I have met (met being having personally spoken to, thanked, been reciprocated by and/or lucky enough to get an autograph from): Robert Downey Jr., Stephen Fry, Jude Law, Carey Mulligan, George Clooney, Suzy Amis, Brad Pitt, Kenneth Brannagh, Julie Walters, Robert Pattinson, Daniel Radcliffe, Tom Felton, James Phelps, Matthew Lewis, Evanna Lynch, Bonnie Wright, Jamie Campbell Bower, Matt Cardle, Bill Nighy, Gary Oldman, Marina Sirtis, Rosario Dawson, Danny Boyle, MyAnna Buring, Piers Morgan, Graham Norton, Jonathan Ross, Rhea Perlman, Richard Griffiths, Katie Leung, Ralph Fiennes, John Hurt, Gurinder Chadha, David Bradley, Tom Hiddleston, Scarlett Johansson, Kevin Feige, Chris Hemsworth, Mark Ruffalo, Ray Winstone, Olivia Coleman, Toby Jones, Ian McShane, Lily Cole, David Mitchell, Ciaran Hinds, Simon Cowell, David Walliams, Twiggy, The Four Tops, Denise Welch, Kimberly Nixon, Steffan Rhodri, Clémence Poésy, Michel Hazanavicius, Tomas Alfredson, Tom Hardy, Reese Witherspoon, Lynne Ramsay, Jeremy Bulloch, Mark Strong, Celia Imrie, John Madden, Zoe Ball, Viola Davis, Jessica Chastain, Chris O’Dowd, Jenny Eclair, Kimberly Walsh, Tyne Daly, Tim McInnerny, Samantha Bond, James Corden, Michael Fassbender, John Cusack, Sally Hawkins, Sam Claflin, Will Poulter, Dexter Fletcher, Eva Green, Chloe Moretz, Sir David Frost, Samuel Barnett, Agyness Deyn, Joanna Lumley, Ant McPartlin, Emma Bunton, Hugh Grant, LuLu, Peter Lord, Jonathan Hyde, Kevin McNally, Freddie Fox, Bill Paxton, Frances Fisher, Kate Winslet, Billy Zane, Patrick Stewart, Mackenzie Crook, Bérénice Marlohe, Alex Zane, Jessie Cave, Jim Broadbent, Zach Braff, Ewen McGregor, Hannah Spearritt, Jennifer Lim, Hayley Atwell, Katherine Parkinson, Natasha McElhone, Jeremy Irvine, Jason Biggs, Jennifer Coolidge, Michael Sheen, Eddie Kaye Thomas, Thomas Ian Nicholas, Sean William Scott, Jennifer Grey, David Suchet, Laurie Metcalf, Kate Magowan, Ian Hislop, Adele Silva, Harry Lloyd, Barbara Nedeljakova, Roger Allam, Ricky Gervais, Natalie Dormer, Tilda Swinton, Joanna Page, Christoph Waltz, James Fleet, Sam Worthington, Matthew Morrison, James Horner, Michelle Williams, Penelope Wilton, Richard D. Zanuck, Catherine Deneuve, James Cameron, Harvey Weinstein, Donald Sutherland, Danny DeVito, Bob Geldof, Goldie Hawn, Tom Jones, Mena Suvari, Joan Collins, Guy Ritchie, Tim Burton, Kathleen Kennedy, Johnny Depp, Trudi Styler, Christina Ricci, Steven Spielberg and Madonna.

…and have stood feet (often less) in front of: Quentin Tarantino, Helena Bonham Carter (FIVE times!), Jackie Earle Haley, Jared Harris, Jonny Lee Miller, Kelly Reilly, Michael Ball, Kathryn Bigelow, Vera Farmiga, Nick Frost, Anna Kendrick, Colin Firth, Meryl Streep, JK Rowling, Alan Rickman, Robert Richardson, Sandy Powell, Kristin Scott Thomas, Anne-Marie Duff, Kristen Stewart, Duncan Jones, Jessie Eisenberg, Nicholas Hoult, Jon Landau, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint, Oliver Phelps, Maggie Smith, Miranda Richardson, Judi Dench, David Yates, David Heyman, Dolph Lundgren, Imelda Staunton, David Thewlis, Jason Isaacs, Warwick Davis, Michael Gambon, Thandie Newton, Robbie Coltrane, Nick Moran, Helen McCrory, Zoe Wanamaker, Emma Thompson, Will Smith, Josh Brolin, Barry Sonnenfeld, Nicole Scherzinger, Lewis Hamilton, Mark Williams, Natalia Tena, Domhnall Gleeson, Rhys Ifans, Prince Charles, Prince William, Kate Middleton, Helen Worth, Derek Jacobi, Octavia Spencer, Melissa George, Morgan Spurlock, Robert Redford, Terry Gilliam, Barbra Windsor, Tim Daly, Liam Neeson, Jonathan Liebesman, Anna Wintour, Ronan Keating, Omid Djalili, Cillian Murphy, Claire Danes, Claudia Winkleman, Declan Donnelly, Bernard Hill, Clive Owen, Matt Dillon, Rupert Everett, Saoirse Ronan, Joely Richardson, Andy Serkis, Jonathan Rhys-Meyers, Guy Pearce, Eugene Levy, Kate Capshaw, James MacAvoy, Ben Wheatley, Richard Aoyade, Naomie Harris, Sophie Okenedo, Matt Smith, Elizabeth McGovern, Noel Fielding, Gerard Butler, James D’Arcy, Chris Pine, Chris Klein, Jeremy Renner, David Tennant, Simon Amstell, Jessie J, David Guetta, Kasabian, Kiefer Sutherland, Amanda Seyfried, Uma Thurman, Dustin Hoffman, Nicholas Roeg, Vanessa Redgrave, Joel Silver, Michelle Pfeiffer, Brian May, Robert DeNiro and more.

I guess what I’m really trying to say is that you can always make something inspiring out of a bad experience. In fact, I don’t think a lot of it has even been my doing. Certainly not the great people I’ve met since I started autograph-hunting or the doors that have opened since (I’m now editing videos for an international online red carpet channel, and have recently been offered camera operating gigs at premieres as well… I guess all that Film School training is coming in handy after all ;). A lot of the people listed above I don’t have that big an interest in. But others, such as Spielberg, Harvey Weinstein, Jim Cameron, Kathleen Kennedy, Joel Silver, Johnny Depp and Tim Burton. well, they’re the people who inspired me to set out on my life’s journey. I know it might sound corny but it really is true. and I got to meet them? and thank them for inspiring me to do what I’m doing? Who gets to do that? Who should be so lucky. I don’t know what I ever did to deserve opportunities like these, but they’e happening. again. Just like they happened throughout 2010 and 11. and with people like Ridley Scott, the Wachowskis, Tarantino (again), Chris Nolan, Len Wiseman, Robert Zemeckis, Sam Mendes, Joan Rivers, Peter Jackson, Barbara Broccoli, Robin Williams, Oliver Stone, Ray Liotta and Leo DiCaprio to come over the next few months alone, come December I’ll have probably met most of the people who inspired me to become a filmmaker when I was a teenager.

I’m not trying to romanticize a care-free life or exaggerate a hobby. Life still has its tough moments for me now as it does most people, not least paying the bills, being constantly broke due to loans and having to get by. and sure there are times when times are hard. But all theese tough times aside, I’m really enjoying London life right now. The city is being suspiciously kind to me in so many ways I’m starting to think there’s a catch. somewhere. Maybe I just haven’t come across it yet. Whatever the case, my hope for everyone who reads this blog is that whoever you are you believe me when I tell you that life can be so inspiring in the most unexpected ways, at the most random times and in so many more ways than you can ever imagine. Granted come this December once I’ve met most of the people who inspired me to follow my life’s path, I’ll probably ‘hang up’ my autograph-ing shoes and concentrate once more on trying to carve a career in film. It will be hard but I’ll have to muster the guts from somewhere. Maybe the people I’m meeting will help inspire me to get the confidence I used to have back. If not that, at least to never give up and get through whatever life throws at you. Looking back, I think meeting Spielberg really helped with that one.

Here’s to the rest of 2012 in London. Here’s to being inspired.

L. Clark 

19/05/2012